Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Gift

Today I'm different. I am usually so bright and cheerful most of the day. But a very special friend passed away yesterday, the father of one of my Webelos scout boys. My head has been achy, my heart heavy, my eyes puffy, my mind stricken...

So I watched High School Musical yesterday afternoon. I watched High School Musical 2 today. Not all at once, but it lightened the day to watch something utterly young and frivolous.

I talked to Sarah today and I was wrapped in her love. I talked with the cub scouts about Ruben's dad and I was happy to share my feelings of love for them. I talked with Sister Craig and I again bore my feelings. I feel so much better now.

Someone said that when a good depression comes upon you (not the clinical kind), just sit down, cry, throw a tantrum, eat a half a pie and enjoy it. I am not sure why this hit me so hard. I know Ruben Sr. is happy and at peace. I know the gospel is true and I know the gospel. So why the attack?

But the bigger question is: Why the blanket of healing that come with such overwheming warmth? I am amazed at the ability I have to move on and to be my perky self again. In my special place I carry my little tender griefs, never forgetting the part they play in my life. But the power to pick up and move ahead is a gift. A gift from the Spirit.

Amazing Grace.

2 comments:

Sarie said...

Mom, loved this post! It's so true... something about just letting the emotions go and slowing down... let life take you there every now and then. Loved talking to you today...

Hannah said...

Mom-I would say the reason why you still grieve is because you know how much that cub scout loves and misses his dad. Your kind, caring and motherly heart is what defines you mom. Hope you are healing and I am always an ear to hear. Love you lots, thanks for sharing such a personal experience. Healing is a gift.